If you dread weekends, holidays and summer break, you are probably an exhausted parent. Despite your best intentions, parenting can be a hamster wheel of handling crisis after crisis. Maybe you don't even dare take your kids to grocery store because of the chaos that ensues. So, you feel very stuck.
You have come to the right place. Before you can do anything about your kids, you have to do something for yourself. Stop right now and take a deep breath. Feel your feet on the floor, let your shoulders relax,, and know that we can do hard things together.
Children are like water. They take up all the space available for them. So, for parents, self-care essentials are boundaries that are non negotiable. Self care helps you change how you see yourself, and when you change how you see yourself, you will also change how you see your children.
If you are exhausted from dealing with difficult children, your body and brain are functioning in survival, self protection mode--- you may feel that you are walking on eggshells all the time. Because of repeated parenting stress, you are now "wired" for emergency. Being with someone in a calming supportive relationship is key to helping you re-adapt and re-organize to a healthy rhythm. Counseling is a great way for you to connect and to help you find safety, belonging, competence, and autonomy necessary for healing. You are not alone.
Resource: "When Parenting is Traumatic"
Robyn Goebel discusses "When Parenting is Traumatic" on her podcast. When you are dealing with a child who is out of control, it can impact you physically. After handling 100's of crisis with your child, your body stays on alert all the time, and that's what is keeping you exhausted. If you've found parenting stress to be extreme, unpredictable and prolonged, then you are dealing with trauma and toxic levels of stress. It's easy to feel very alone and very guilty-- like a good parent should not feel this way. Your stress response system is stuck in overdrive. One thing that can help you start feeling better right away is connection. Knowing that someone sees, and knows, and cares calms your stress response system. Robyn's podcast is great. Give it a listen . And, remember I'm here if you need me.