Actually, you know tantrums are not that simple. There are many things that contribute when a child has a pattern of coming unhinged. But the "off" button does start with one essential concept. When we shift our perspective and view the behavior through the lens of the nervous system, it helps us to see what's behind the upset, and it helps us to develop ways to help the child get himself out of the weeds.
Brain research explains our responses to stress-- survival instincts. These survival instincts affect us emotionally, physically and relationally. and that helps us to understand behavior. Robyn Goebbel, LCSW and author of "Raising Kids with Big Baffling Behaviors" gives practical, immediate ways to help tame the tantrum through the lens of neuroscience. Listen to her introductory podcasts here on apple podcasts and other apps.
Robyn discusses the phenomenon of "whack a mole" --sometimes a strategy may work for awhile, but as one problem is "fixed" another appears. You are probably flooded with information about parenting, and if you are still struggling, nothing's working. Lots of strategies don't work because they don't address the real problem. The truth is that no one can control someone else's behavior. Solutions that focus on the behavior are often about the parent's behavior in rewarding or giving consequences. Focusing on the nervous system helps the parent to understand, connect, influence and empower the child to choose his own behavior.
As a counselor, I'm here to help you figure out what's happening in your child's brain (and in your own brain) before, during and after the crisis. If you want to talk more about it-- click here: